I would like to take the time to thank the following people and/or entities for today's lack of telephone and internet service: To the drunk driver who plowed into the telephone pole, knocking out electricity for 400 people and telephone service for 1500 people. Dude, you wrecked your SOB (SUV in Jauharese. Why is it that so many people who drive SUVs seem to be such SOBs?) But at least your safe and sound. In jail.
And to the archaic phone company whose antiquated dial up service for more than a million dupes, er, I mean, customers ONLY HAS ONE FRICKIN' EXCHANGE number and NO DSL in my area! Hello?! It is the 21st Century. CTSI Sucks!