Monday, March 19, 2007
The Three Little Pigs...edited for Sensitive Muslims
Once upon a time, there was a teeny tiny church in a teeny tiny town in the teeny, tiny country of England...which called itself Great Britain, in order to compensate for its smallness.
But, I digress.
In the teeny, tiny church in the teeny tiny town was a teeny tiny music festival, where the people gathered to watch the children put on a musical play,
called "The Three Little Pigs".
Well, in the same little town, in the same little country were new-comers, called Muslims, but in order for the people not to be upset, they were repackaged as "Asians" by the press and the government. And of course, this euphemism put people completely at ease.
Well, the Muslims HATED pigs, due to their religious edicts, so the people of the teeny tiny town, wishing not to offend their new neighbours, decided to retitle the play, "The 3 Little Pugs", until someone pointed out to the frightened play director, that Muslims also find dogs to be as filthy as pigs.
So they sought to placate their new friends by substituting different animals, all to no avail.
The Muslims found everything to be upset about. After the title of the play was deemed too offensive, they found that the mixing of boy children with girl children terribly offensive. So the play director sent the girls packing.
Well, that was not enough, because the Muslims found music to be an evil that Allah hates, so the play director cut the musical numbers, thinking that surely the Muslims would find everything satisfactory at last, but no, they were still offended.
"We have done everything to please you in this matter, and still you are offended! What more can we possibly do?" asked the exasperated play director.
"YOU offend us, filthy infidel! Nothing would make a Muslim happier than if you would simply die!"
Seeing that he at last had found the one thing that would make the Muslim truly happier than anything else in the world, the play director went home and swallowed poison and died, setting the example for all sensitive multi-culturalists everywhere in Europe, which is now called Eurabia.
Update: Damn the sanity which prevails. The Muslims, timid creatures that they are, protest that they aren't after all offended by pigs and their stories. No. Never. So the play is on, and the slow, preemptive surrender continues.
NOT QUITE THE END