Friday, April 18, 2008

A Quiet Weekend Planned....but you know how things tend to go...

(This is our irksome Middle Child. She doesn't really mean PEACE)

In order to understand why it is that we parents tend to get our gray hair when our kids become teenagers, please analyze the picture of our 17-year old daughter, Mary, and imagine driving one of these (if you don't already have a Mary of your own) around for just an hour. In this picture, she is safely out of reach of my slapping arm directly, but that only fortifies her in her war of attrition on my nerves when I am driving.

She has a host of weapons that work against my sanity. Loudness is the first and foremost weapon. Open derision and mockery is the second. Her sometimes - but not always- bad taste in music - played loudly.

You say, "why don't you just take control of the situation and be the adult?"

Easy for you to say. Trying to take control of a 'situation' while driving is tough enough, but doing it without killing other drivers on the road would be quite a feat of skillful machine manipulation.

When I was a child, we waged war on my father, who had the foresight to buy a used limo with a partition window in the middle. Whenever we got out of hand and began to pick on the smaller children...who were there for our cathartic relief, we were signaled to put up the window and continue freely, so as to not bother the driver. It must have been a thing of beauty to see my little brother's desperate face in the rearview mirror, mouthing the words "Daddy make him stop!" only to hear the soft clicking of the eight-track tape player playing Bach's Air on a G-String.

We, on the other hand, not only got to make him cry (THAT one was for tellin'! And THAT one was for eating my pudding!) but we got to hear him plead, without success for help that never came, and seeing my dad's reflection of bare acknowledgement in the rear view mirror was more than satisfying.

Sigh, but that was then, and this is now, and PAYBACK really IS a Bitch.

1 comment:

  1. seanymph1:09 AM

    You needed to start when she was a toddler. Mine would do that too so I would tell them if it didnt stop I was gonna stop the car right here on the highway and pull them outta the car and whip their asses right on the hood of said car. I think it was the manical laugh and look on my face that made them think she just might do it cuz all I had to do was put my foot on the brake like I was gonna stop that car and .......all was well in the back seat once again (big mamma grin)

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