Sunday, May 4, 2008

Haram vs Halal in American Restaurants: The Tasty Jihad!

Endangered Specious.....Keep fighting the good fight, fellas!

I love pork. Most folks love pork. Most cultures but for a few regard pork as a delicacy. I can respect the orthodox, kosher-observant Jew, however, who doesn't want a spare rib waved under his nose. I can even respect the halal Muslim who doesn't want a ham sandwich eaten 2 inches from his face. It's just crude and piglike to do such things. What it also means is that we must give and take, in regards to other a point. I can accept dietary restrictions that Jews, Hindus, Muslims and Vegans have placed upon themselves, and I can even respect that. What I can't respect is a busybody. I have no patience with the Food Police, who have managed to ruin popcorn at the movies, and thus, by extension...THE MOVIE itself, french fries, peanut butter samwiches, and just about everything I want to put into my mouth...Especially pork products. Ahhh, and forgive the pun...and here's the rub: Chicken.
That's right. Chicken.
Fried chicken to be exact. My husband and I used to go on dates to Church's Fried Chicken in Billings, Montana, where we had a turgid 18 month workplace romance, including some shackage without benefits of a license, followed by 25 years of sendentary basic marital bliss, with small glitches, mostly weather or automobile-related. At this point we are not even considering a trial separation, unless you believe that separating your grown kids out of the nest is trial-like.
But, as usual, I digress. At this moment, there is a war over pork going on. There isn't much reporting about it, since it doesn't have anything to do with Natalie Holloway or Britany Spears, but it should concern you, since it is about the jihad against pork consumption, or pig displays, or sculptures. Overall, a kind of purging of pork from the mouth and the mind. It isn't a loud campaign. No. That would draw attention to the sinister meddlesome bastards at work in this country. One fine, upstanding Texan, will not have any of it.
I have no solution to fix this problem of busybodies. Only ridicule. Lots and lots of mirthful derision and mockery. And recipes. Lots of pork saturated recipes. With or without Jell-O for dessert.

Oh hey! I forgot! We have a new super hero....Thanks, Bosch.

... And for Haid, who is suffering from a case of vengeful winter ennui:
a little Pork Pie Hat Farewell to Winter!


  1. Thank you, Scherzo. No one's ever posted anything for me before. And it just happens to be one of my favorite tunes. John's been playing "Goodbye Porkpie Hat" for a long time, because I heard him do it live with a quartet back in the early seventies about the same time as Mahavishnu, I think.

    Anyway, the vid is awesome, but I'm not certain it did anything for the ennui--the tune's not exactly light and bouncy :)-- but it has relaxed me for bed.

    Thanks for thinking of me.


  2. No, it certainly isn't uplifting, but It is Pork name only, perhaps. And this is my favorite version of it. I listened to Jeff Beck, and swore at one point that I could pick out the melody, but then I listened to Joni Mitchell, and even Fleetwood Mac do it, but John did it the way Mingus would have liked it, me thinks.
    Hope things get better for you.

  3. Check out the ukele version of "Goodbye Porkpie Hat" by "markocchionero".

    A surprisingly tasty piece.

    Eye-appealing blog you got going.


  4. Wascally Psyops man. I went to your blog and you tempt me with all kinds of interesting things...psyops being one of my faves, and then you leave me with nothing? AAAAAARRRRRGH Damn your beard! Write something man! I feel to read!


Don't just sit there, say something!