Saturday, June 28, 2008

Most Blasphemous Haramfest EVER!

Well, I'm feeling better now, and not on a diet of mush any more. I won't bore you with the details of what would have been a great 25th anniversary for me and my Beloved Immortal, but for a damned abscessed toof. I have no really good recipes for Augmentin™, except for the Vicodin™ chaser and mouthwash cocktail that I imbibed for the better part of a week. But enough about my trivial pains. There's news afoot and people to mock and recipes. All in one offensive article. At least I hope you find it offensive.

It seems that our Friends of the Religion of Peace™ are back in the news. This time, in...guess where....Great Britain, the New Caliphate of Eurabia. Apparently Muslims are offended by bomb sniffing dogs, and really, what isn't offensive to our perpetually outraged offended pietists™ but everything you and I as filthy infidels love and cherish. Like, for example, being accommodating. We just love to accommodate other cultures, and the British, who have replaced their spines with sniveling, grovelling, servitudinous accommodation, are going to scrap the whole bomb sniffing dog capriciousness and find another critter with exquisite olfactory senses to nose out the elusive exploding Muslim - that won't offend the elusive exploding Muslim.

Voila! Pigs are being used now both as nightlights AND bomb sniffers! By Jews! HUH! Well, leave it to the Israelis to set the trend in state of the art bomb detection.

I just can't understand why anyone would think dogs are vile creatures. Just LOOK at this punum! Is she not the epitome of sweetness? (above photo courtesy of Angela....my girlfriend)

How can anyone argue that dogs are not the master race? Look at the neat things they can do! Monkeys, pigs, dogs....all totally haram for the ummah and most useful to the rest of us! Can a goat or a camel ride a trike while balancing lesser mammals on their heads? I don't think so. It was never aired on television, so it probably never ever happened. Only infidel animals can do that sort of thing. You see why there is no progress in Islamic cultures!

Here is how Muslims see dogs. The way they see us. Through MohammedVision™. Indistinguishable. Years and years of demonizing Man's Best Friend have caused them to view the noble canine helpmate of humanity with a truly jaundiced vision. How sad. So. Very very. Sad.

Well, the Koreans don't have ANY problems whatsoever with dogs. Nosirree Bob! In fact, they have a multitude of uses for them, including a heaping plate fulla Bosintang.

Here are some things the Koreans can do with Man's Best Friend...other than frying him or boiling him, that is: From the website: Cuisine of Dogmeat

Dogmeat Food developed by Professor Ann

Digested dogmeat : Dogmeat hydrolyzed by protease
Dogmeat powder : Digested dog meat powder
Dogmeat extract : Water extract of digested dogmeat and medical ingredient
Dogmeat wine : Wine of wax gourd and digested dogmeat fermented by yeast
Dogmeat vinegar : Vinegar of wax gourd and digested dogmeat fermented by
Acetobacter
Dogmeat red pepper paste : Red pepper paste fermented with the addition of
digested dogmeat
Dogmeat soy bean paste : Soy bean paste fermented with the addition of
digested dogmeat
Dogmeat soy sauce : Soy sauce fermented with the addition of digested
dogmeat
Dogmeat-red pepper paste pickle : Dogmeat pickled in red pepper paste
Dogmeat Kimchi : Kimchi fermented with the addition of digested dogmeat
Dog intestine sausage : Dog intestine into which blood of dog, vegetable and
dogmeat are stuffed
Dogmeat can : Canned dogmeat
Dogmeat noodle : Noodle with the addition of digested dogmeat
Dogmeat Chinese noodles : Chinese noodle with the addition of digested
dogmeat
Dogmeat puree : Puree with the addition of digested dogmeat
Dogmeat soup : Soup with the addition of digested dogmeat
Dogmeat beverage : Beverage of the dilution of digested dogmeat
Dogmeat mayonnaise : Mayonnaise from vinegar, digested dogmeat, oil and
egg
Dog oil mayonnaise : Mayonnaise from vinegar, dog oil and egg
Dogmeat ketchup : Ketchup from the mixture of digested dogmeat, tomato
puree
Dogmeat bread : Bread with the addition of digested dogmeat
Dogmeat cooky : Cooky with the addition of digested dogmeat
Dogmeat hamburger : Hamburger pad made of dogmeat
Dogmeat cutlet : Cutlet made of dogmeat
Dogmeat ham : Ham made of dogmeat
Dogmeat sausage : Sausage made of dogmeat
Dogmeat cosmetics : Cream, essence and emulsion made from dog oil;

Of course, you may prefer sampling what comes out of the Kitten Abattoir, instead.

A sample recipe:

Beer Roasted Cat

1 cat cut into roast
1 can of fucking Cream of Mushroom soup (I am not making this up, I SWEAR!)
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, like Guinness

Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. Drain and place in crock pot with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your George Foreman Cooker (or it's ilk), you'll have finely cooked feline in time for supper.

If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 350 degrees for 2-3 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good. Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard greens, and fresh, homemade egg rolls. When planning a full meal just remember- cat is a course best served hot!

Cat may not be the most glamorous, or tastiest of game meats, but with a little thought and preparation, Baked Cat can make the belly of the persnicketiest diner glow with home baked goodness.

...or you may prefer the fish, instead.

7 comments:

  1. As much as I deplore Britains decline into an islamic hellhole I would possibly convert rather than eat that cat dish...I hate tinned muchroom soup!

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  2. Yeah, I know what you mean, thud. Why go out of the way to get a cat to roast, only to braise it in one can of that tasteless stuff. I'm thinking Pinot grigio, or maybe a fruity Zinfandel would make cat taste a LITTLE more elegant, don't you think?

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  3. I can see my hope was in vain for you to emerge normal from your convalescence. That is quite possibly the most disgusting article I have ever read most of.

    Where did you get a photo of my dog?

    I DO like the trademark thing, though.

    I also like mushroom soup from a can.

    And unlike thud, I'll eat rat before I convert.

    Never trust anyone who doesn't like dogs.

    HAID

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  4. Heh! What doesn't kill me only strengthens me, Haid!

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  5. I love the photos.

    Hope you're all better.

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  6. seanymph1:34 PM

    Im beginning to think anything countries use to protect themselve from chaos is offensive to Muslims on purpose. This way they know if they make enough noise about it, we will stop doing it. Talk about terrorism! They have them so scared they just complain and get what they want. Shame on Britain or anywhere else that gives into their lifestyle. If they dont want to live in their own countries then adapt to where they move too. You dont go to live somewhere else and expect the place to conform to you! Talk about huge egos!

    BTW everyone knows anything tastes good with Cream of Mushroom soup on it ......giggle. But I agree with a comment here...maybe a nice white wine instead of stout. :)

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  7. Thanks, seanymph. I feel as strongly about the cream of mushroom soup as you do! Now they're making the poochies wear peddies. Good grief, where will this all end?

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