Saturday, July 12, 2008

Drek Fest!

Sorry to Haid and all the folks who visit. I haven't had the time to post a full thought. I have been able to put down some ideas in the Hyperventillating File. Here are some thoughts I want to write about:

"Racism is What you Won't Eat"
"On Language and Music and why the hell can't Die Hard Evolutionists explain Beauty and Deep sh!t like that, to me. Try and convince me it all crawled outta the primordial ooze."
"More fun with the Brits. (An ongoing series of mockery and derision at their self-inflicted demise)"
"Apostates and the Jaish al-Murtadin (Army of Murtads)

I have been working without benefit of much sleep. Which causes me to say dumb things that my middle child, Mary remembers and parrots back to me at unexpected moments. My daughter and I are substituting for a friend, doing her early morning route....this in addition to my night job as a baker, and my thankfully sporadic day job as piano teacher and translator. I get about 3 hours of sleep a day, with a nap here and there. What's eight hours of sleep? HaH! We had over 500 papers to deliver today alone, and usually its about 200 a day.

During which, I have listened to " I kissed a Girl" for the last time. I started singing with the radio whenever it came on, and finally, my voice gave out, and now I sing it like Marge Simpson. No kidding.

it used to be that musical lyrics used to be lovely, broad themes pertaining to universal human experiences in love and life and death, but now, thanks to Miley Cyrus, I get to hear Mary singing, "My best friend Leslie said, "Oh, she's just being Miley." Whatever the hell that means!

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. You have to do whatever you must in order to keep awake! So trust me, when I say, making up new lyrics to "I kissed a Girl" and other songs is one of the funner aspects of absurd early morning work hours.

What I really hope is that a bunch of fat, pimple faced, untalented American Idol contestants try out singing "I kissed a girl" badly as only deluded American Idol contestants can sing it...just to finally be the death knell of that infernal song.
I will tell you that this little side job has brought me and the irksome middle child closer. She has had a devil of a time getting work, and this route will bring her over 250 smackers for just 6 days of 2 and a half hours a morning. Her probation officer will be thrilled!

So, Jaujau is very tired, and that is why I haven't been blogging. And egads! I have been making barely edible food...much to the enjoyment of my youngest, who simply doesn't appreciate my eggplant parmesan. And do NOT ask her about chicken livers. Such a delicacy. Sigh.

So. Very, very Tired. So tired, in fact, that the following video makes me cry, too.


  1. You didn't fix my signature link on my last comment. I don't want to be known as Hawd. It's bad enough that a friend, alerted to my identity, asked me, "Why do you call yourself 'Hade'?" Oy.

    I think you've been hanging out with the hostile hottie too much. That song is so annoying. I too found myself singing it with alternate lyrics. You probably don't want to hear mine ;). It IS amazing how the song sticks in the mind, though. No melody, few lyrics, entirely sans groove, but somehow it sticks.

    More later.

    HAID (not Hade) (not Hawd)

  2. Oh, I forgot. Last time, when i was wondering where yo were, I almost typed, "Now don't go apologizing." No sooner did I hit the SEND key than you had posted an apology LOL. I laughed so hard I had to take my glasses off and wipe my eyes.

  3. Haid not Haud not Hawg, not Hades: Heheh. Is it spelled Dave or Dawood?

  4. So here's what I said, that she keeps parroting back to me: And keep in mind, I WAS SO TIRED! Dammit!
    A truck was coming up behind us as we were delivering to houses with bizarre addresses like 41N. Rural routes, I curse thee all to HELL!
    So there we were, and the truck would not pass, even as I was waving him to pass me, and he WOULDN' I said, PASS, FVckers!
    And she doubled over and started laughing so hard that I started laughing. I said, forget I said was WRONG of me to say that, you are never to mimic me saying that ever, and so she started saying it in all these crazy voices, and I really had to pee. So now it is in her memory bank forever, to be pulled out and used against me on any occasion unexpected.

  5. LOL. Yes, you've been spending too much time with her.

    Stop being so miley.


  6. I had total control of the radio stations today, and she was forced to hear me sing, Ramblin' Man! So awesome are the powers of forcing her to sit in the back seat. She snuck up to change the station, and when I returned to the car in time to hear the happy, catchy, infectiously fun song with these lyrics:

    Damn all these beautiful girls
    They only wanna do you dirt
    They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
    When they say it's over
    You're way too beautiful girl
    That's why it will never work
    You had me suicidal, suicidal
    When you say it's over
    Damn all these beautiful girls
    They only wanna do you dirt
    They'll have you suicidal suicidal
    When they say it's over...

    The song is actually Stand By Me, but with suicide and a nice Jamaican twang. And when we got to the very repetitive SUICIDAL parts of the song, we sang them with a happiness that eludes most suicidal people, with the exception of the shahid on his way to Allah.

  7. You're going through a weird time.


    Whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stranger.

  8. Anonymous7:04 AM

    And if ye will be strange, ye shalt be verily strange indeed!

  9. No, that wasn't anonymous at all, I just hit the enter button before I filled out the form. Sheesh. It's sunrise, and time for bed.

  10. Stranger LOL. Funnier than Hawd.

  11. Hawd Plateau, East Africa Hawd also spelled Haud,
    Main plateau sloping southeastward and spanning the northern Ethiopian-Somali border, southeast of the northern Somalian highlands. It covers an area of about 25,000 square miles (64,750 square km) and slopes from about 4,000 feet (1,220 m) in the northwest to about 1,500 feet (450 m) in the southeast. It is a vast savanna of varying fertility and is a major wet-season grazing area for herds of camels, goats, and sheep kept by the Somali pastoralists. The Hawd Plateau has few permanent wells (except for areas in the west) and is thus mostly uninhabited during the dry season (January to April). Some natural depressions, filled during the rainy season from April to June, provide fresh pasturage for as long as five to six months.

    Yeah, you're right. Stranger than Hawd, and funnier than Haud, Haid! The real question is how much more hilarious can I get when deprived completely of sleep for more than three days at a time.....we shall never know, because tomorrow is my last day on this route, and then, sweet slumbers await...I hope.


Don't just sit there, say something!