Monday, August 11, 2008

Al Qaeda's Guide to Islamic Vegeterrorism

Alien Salad by Till Nowak. Click here to see an enlargement.

At what point do people begin to realize they have been had, and that they have had enough of being had? Consider Iraq, where Al Qaeda was having a successful reign of terror against their Sunni brethren by kidnapping their children; torturing and killing them if they refused to pledge fealty. Of course, Los Qaedistos would argue that they were protecting their Sunni brethren, but that is too nuanced an argument for an infidel like me.
I am but a woman.

Hochgekocht, 2008 by Sarah Illenberger

And for awhile that was pretty successful. Even the rumored kidnappings and killing of children and serving them up to their parents roasted for potluck Fridays seemed to keep the population somewhat quelled. Of course, the surge has certainly helped with cleaning up the rack and ruin Al Qaeda left in its wake, and making the locals to rethink about who is really on their side, but what caused the Sunnis to finally say "Khalas!" and begin to turn on their terror lords and masters?

Vertumnus: Portrait of Rudolph II 1591, by Giuseppe Arcimbolo.

Via Jihad Watch: Al Qaeda Jumps the Shark

Al-Qa'eda in Iraq alienated by cucumber laws and brutality

Al-Qa'eda is losing support in Iraq because of a brutal crackdown on activities it regards as un-Islamic - including women buying cucumbers.

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa'eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.

They include a ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar.

Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: "They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram. (Check out Ayatollah Khomeini's guide to what you do with a slightly fondled farm animal. Nummy. Sra. Scherzophrenic)

"They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men."

Other farcical stipulations include an edict not to buy or sell ice-cream, because it did not exist in the time of the Prophet, while hair salons and shops selling cosmetics have also been bombed.

Most seriously, Sheikh al-Hayyes said: "I saw them slaughter a nine-year old boy like a sheep because his family didn't pledge allegiance to them."

Such tactics have triggered a backlash among Sunnis, whom Al-Q'aeda had claimed to be protecting, the sheikh and military leaders said.

Lieutenant-Colonel Tim Albers, an American intelligence officer, told the news agency: "Al-Qa'eda's very heavy-handed killing of civilians backfired on them. The Sunnis just wouldn't stand for it any more.

"The self-described protectors of the Sunni community now kill more Iraqi Sunnis than anyone else."

Yes, it's always the little things which pull the blinders off people's eyes. Savor the moment.


  1. Don't forget that it was also forbidden to have tomatoes touching cucumbers in vegetable stands. Good golly, Al Quaeda is composed with guys that have nothing better to do than think this stuff up between beheadings.

    Great post and photos. I almost had my morning coffee coming out of my nose.

    You are also the first person I know of that has read Cancer Ward as a teenager. I thought I was the only one...

  2. The whole cucumber/tomato thing is one of my favorites. It even made my short list of typical Muslim grievances on my "About" page, which I took from my old Blogger blog.

    I must have missed the news about slaying a goat for showing her private parts. Whatever was she thinking going outside without her burqa?

    Lots of folks find such stories irrelevant, since admittedly we couldn't care less what inane stuff Muslims do so long as they're not killing or oppressing us. But I consider these practices highly pertinent, because humans DO learn from being ridiculed.

    I figure the jihad will end as soon as a majority of Muslims see how stupid they, and especially the mujahadeen, really look to us.


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