Thursday, December 18, 2008
We went to the youngun's school Christmas program last night. I think it had to be one of the most depressing Christmas programs I'd ever been to. The first song, 'Snowplow', consisted of the 5th and 6th grade Strings Orchestra sawing back and forth between two whole notes in the low register...occasionally adding variety by adding a minor third here and there, setting the tone of morbidity that was the theme of the concert, for the most part.
Actually, the string orchestra was pretty good, pitting the cellists playing 'Christmas is coming, the Goose is getting fat', vs. the violins and violas playing 'Deck the Halls'. Together, while not as sublime as Your Chocolate in My Peanut Butter, it was pleasant and clever enough to make me stick around.
Next came the band. Cacophonous din would be the polite thing to say, or more accurately, the accurate thing to say. I guess there just isn't enough soul-stirring Hannukkah music out there to capture the imagination. One of the flutists was out of tune, which wouldn't have been too bad if she didn't have the same note to play repeatedly. Perhaps, the composer, knowing that such flutists would be in abundance, composed the 1 note flute section for that very reason.
Next came the choir, which was actually pretty good. There was a Hebrew song, executed quite well called 'Hanerot Halalu'....which sounded more like BadaBing BadaBoom.
At least there were no recorders. My goodness people, how many songs, other than Snowplow and Hot Cross Buns can there be that consist only of three consecutive notes?
Which brings me round to the following insanity:
Vicar Bans O Little Town of Bethlehem
Yes, it's all Israel's fault, of course. Now what would Christmas be without the additional British Jew Hatred? I mean, the Peaceful Followers of the Prophet and his god wouldn't have anything at all to do with the suffering Christians in Bethlehem, now would they? Naw.
Poor dears. Just keep cranking out all those lame-ass Nativity sets for the Liberated Church of the Verklempt and Compassionate Marxists to sell in the narthex. (I'm sure you''ll get a pittance of it after the Council of Churches gets their cut. You're just as easy to exploit for cash and attention as your more rowdy Muslim neighbors are by Pallywood.
Satan Claus is coming to Town!
CHURCH OF ENGLAND SHOULD DISESTABLISH DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST ON THE PART OF APATHETIC AND AGNOSTIC POPULACE
Question for the Archbishop: What happens to you when your existence becomes pointless?
Answer: Why, You Become A Useful idiot and a tool.
In the meantime, let us flee that madness and check upon our little French fabulist, Capucine, to see what she is up to.
"What is it ?" from Capucha on Vimeo.
Pssst: Spoiler Alert! It's a Pooh Bear!