New mother and new baby are doing fine, and for the first time in my life, I know something the former Miss Irksome doesn’t know. What a difference! It used to be the exact opposite. Ahhhh. I could get used to this. But let’s digress, shall we?
It has been hectic here, as I’m sure it’s been for everyone. When it gets hectic, I won’t cook dinner. I will just eat out. This is an all you can eat post from the Tasty Infidelicacies Reheated Take Out Night. Enjoy, and don’t get a tummy ache from overindulgence.
PS The beets are awful. Skip them and opt for the chow chow, instead.
The following conversation, which took place at Ruby Tuesday's this evening would never have been possible 20 years ago. Trust me.
Husband: "What are you having? I'm not too hungry, I think I'll just have the salad bar."
Wife: "The avocado turkey burger looks really good, I think I'll just have that. How about you, Rachel?"
Rachel (she always has chicken tenders and fries whenever we eat out) "I'll have the chicken tenders and fries."
The waitress brought us our drinks, 2 Diet Cokes with lemon and a water (Rachel doesn't like soda, either....go figure)
Husband: "I figured out what I have to do in order to keep the silver back monkeys from extorting me."
Husband: "Yes. I just go to their home planet and annihilate everyone. But it is expensive."
Wife: "Well, then, why don't you just enslave the survivors? You might be able to turn a profit that way."
Husband: "I would, but this particular species is really hostile. No matter what I do. First I tried being friendly, but they kept wanting me to pay, and so I just got tired of them and killed them all off."
Wife: "I guess so. I mean, you might have to deal with slave uprisings and such, so I suppose you had to kill everyone."
Husband: "It was easy, once I vaporized their home world. They just sort of folded." Shoveling salad into his face. "These beets aren't very good."
Wife: "You like Harvard beets, dear. These aren't even pickled. They're just beets, you know."
Husband: "And they didn't have sunflower seeds. Maybe the waitress can get me some."
Wife: "Probably. How about you, Rachel?"
Rachel: "I'm only in the creature phase. I can't attack other planets. Only other creatures."
Wife: Well, you'll get more aggressive once you develop a means of shooting poison gas."
Rachel: "I have horns, and my tail has spikes."
Wife: "Keep practicing. Ah, dinner's here."
Rachel: "Do you want my mustard?"
Wife: "Sure. Have my ketchup."
Rachel: "I have my own."
Husband: "Yeah, I figured that trying to be nice just isn't possible with aliens. You just have to kill everybody and take their stuff."
Wife, taking a drink and thinking: "You realize, don't you, that this conversation could never have taken place 20 odd years ago, don't you?"
Husband, thinking, nods in agreement: "I was just trying to include Rachel in the conversation."