Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Paean to Mohammed (with Exploding Bacon™)



Oh yeah, time for some celebratory pork and southern gospel music celebrating, if for no other reason than that it's hump day. What to rant about....as if I needed a good reason to rant. (Not the usual "Mary-pick-up-the-towels-and-put-them-in-the-wash, NOW!" Darned irksome Middle Child rant)

Here it is:

I am officially tired of the whining and bitching of Perpetually Offended, Outraged People™. Also Known as Muslims.

In fact, I am tired of the barren and rotted soul of Islam, pushy pushy Islam. Time to lighten up and get a catchy tune in my head to drive out all the blecccch of Islam: Here's one written especially for Mohammed. A real tribute. It could have been written for anyone, I suppose, but after learning all the icky things about the Vile Prophet of Allah, well, I need heavy grade sandpaper just to remove the filthy lies that have tainted me for the last 8 years. Enjoy this ditty by Susan Ashton. Tap your toes, if you must, and shake those hips, too. The bacon is a plus.


Crooked Man - Susan Ashton



So cold - touch his heart and there's a chance you could freeze
Steel soul - keep your distance or be ready to bleed
He was good at the bait and hook



He was really good at push and shove
He believed in "whatever it took"
And whatever it took, it was never enough



Well there was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile
Lived a crooked life behind a crooked smile
Goodness, like an arrow, lodges where it can
But it never pierces the heart of a crooked man



Justify - when justice wouldn't pay the toll
Subtle lies - when the truth was better half than whole
Driven by an insatiable lust



For power that was just out of reach
Living on an illusion of trust
With a steady dose of control and greed



Some life - nobody came to say good-bye
Slow ride - for the author of his own demise



No one had much good to say
Some were glad that he was finally gone



His legacy was cold and gray
Like the mocking words that were carved in stone



Well there was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile
Lived a crooked life behind a crooked smile



Goodness, like an arrow, lodges where it can
But it never pierces the heart of a crooked man

...There. I feel better,now.

What? You wanted a tossed salad with that?

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:52 PM

    Does that lovely pork creation come with a dose of Lipitor?

    -lynndeepoo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I see that blogger is disrespecting you, Lynn! Shame on them all. Have you tried signing on in the nome/url option? I do that sometimes when blogger is being testy.
    Yes, this meal should be marinated in Lipitor, but you know what? It smokes for about 2 hours and the fat drains off!. In fact, if you use some sausages, they put out very little fat at all, depending on the brand. I find Jimmy Dean sausage puts out very little fat when frying it up. Ground beef has far more fat, if you're using 80% and down. But you can get the most awful tastingest lean beef at 93% percent lean. You can even substitute the pork bacon with turkey bacon. Now that would be interesting, coming up with a lean version of this cardiac arrest warrant.

    ReplyDelete
  3. seanymph2:00 PM

    I saw this recipe a couple months ago and showed it to my bf. He said Oh hell yea!! So this definitely appeals to the male of the species. Must be sumthin wrong with the ones who say pork is evil . hehehe .

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pork is the divinest of all meats! I like the pork. I don't care for the ultra lean pork loin, but the tenderloin is a nice change seared in butta, sliced into medallions with a mushroom white wine sauce on wide egg noodles.

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