Friday, March 26, 2010

Conversation with Officer Sweater Shackleford

Although she is working somewhat in her field of graduation as an animator, who knew Lancaster had an animation studio, right? Not enough money in being an intern to pay for the college loans. So she is trying hard to find work doing anything else for legitimate money.

Not much, other than being an art model at the Art school. The creative juices are just flowing with this one. She's just BRIMMING with brainy ideas to keep herself occupied.

Word of advice: Always take your cellphone with you. Always. Then you won't have any trouble at all.

While my phone was napping on its charger, I was at work, actually doing something important, like making sticky buns and cheese bread, and about 25 pounds of smear....a messy process I won't describe here.

So what happens while I am at work and everyone else is supposed to be dead to the world?  Twin B discovers that my cellphone has received a text message at 2:30 in the morning. That can only mean one thing: URGENT! DEATH! DESTRUCTION! MAYHEM!...or else it was just a wrong number.

Guess which one. Go ahead, guess:

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"Sweater, i realize it's late, but it's pete munroe. Would't (sic) have any bud or want to smoke it?"

That's right. A wrong number.

So Twin B, always so helpful around the house, and certainly no less helpful in this case responded on my behalf, bless her heart:

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"Who the fuck is sweater and this is a cop."

He responds:

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"Hey, sorry about that. I had a few too many, last night. Just an old friend. I guess he changed his number. Sorry again."

And 'sweater' responds, even more accommodatingly,

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"Yeah. Just pulled your file up, too. Whenever it's a slow night, we'll come and pay you a visit."

And quickly thereafter,

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"That's really not my deal. I've just had some recent stress. May I ask who this is?"

Officer Sweater:

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"Officer Shackleford. Just get your stress figured out, son."

And finally, the penitent responds, with obsequious gratitude:

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"I appreciate it. Once again, I'm really sorry. I'll delete this number."

Officer Sweater Shackleford:

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"No worries. I've got yours, though. Take care."

She really should be working as a dispatch call person-thingy at 911, or something. She'd be really good at that.

8 comments:

  1. That's hilarious, she's got quite a gift!

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  2. I can't imagine where she gets it from.

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  3. LOL, modesty doesn't become you :)

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  4. Modesty in dress only! Anything else is just silly window dressing for a modestly dressed narcissist! Heh.

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  5. OMG I love, love, love this lol.
    And welcome back, I was starting to think you were dead. :)

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  6. Not, dead. Just wishing my feet didn't hurt so much. I broke my damn ankle in December, and it is a source of chronic pain, the kind of pain that makes you whine, and makes you pout and drives all the children insane. Oh well, can't complain about THAT. Some good returns after all!

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  7. Sorry, I got lost somewhere between cake and zionists and needed to unload halfway through.

    God, what a visual. A three layered Zionist conspiracy covered in a frothy confection of layered white buttercream and fresh coconut.

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  8. I hope I didn't ruin your dinner, Daphne!

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