I might just buy this book, which is reasonably priced, really. Honestly, I don't think it's too much at all!
*(Please include check or money order for $19.95 plus $6.95 S+H, plus $23.95 National Health Care Coverage Tax, $18.95 VAT, plus $6.95 National Recovery Stimulus Service Fee. Lobbyist Residents of DC please add 18% reelection gratuity. Offer not valid in Red States.)
For only $19.95, you'll learn the 17 deadly katas of the CONG-FU fighting discipline -- including Hu-Yu, Flip Slap, Ah-Sol palm thrust, wrist grab rabid monkey style, and Nu-Gi -- along with step-by-step illustrations of Sensei Bob rendering attackers speechless. In this exclusive internet offer, we'll also include a free action-packed DVD!
Of course, my brother-in-law has an awesome ass-kicking program, too.
And you don't even have to be a person of congressional origin!