Wednesday, August 18, 2010

An Open Letter to the New Editor-In-Chief at Right Network

Dear Mr. Vanderleun, Congrabumations on your new job. At first, when I'd heard that this was your new gig, I was happy for you. I still am, but I hope like hell that American Digest won't be just a hobby blog, like mine. That would make Mrs. Effingby cry. So far, Right Network looks kinda 'safe' to watch. I hope that it isn't. I have a few meddlesome suggestions, being that I'm a prefessionle armchair critic.

1. Right Network must be willing and able to dispatch, once and for all,  hand-wringing sensitivity and political correctness with glorious brutality if necessary. Think "blunt truth trauma," especially  when it comes to Islam and race relations. I've had enough of looking at pretty, shiny people with their pretty, shiny  moral superiority, tiptoeing around all the pretty elephants they beam into my living room.

2. Right Network must confront the horrible truths about Islam  and its past, its treatment of women, apostates, honor-killings and shariah and the claims made by the current crop of shills and dopes. I never want to see Karen Armstrong or John Esposito heralded as knowledgeable sources for soothing our fevered brows when it comes to the Blasted Religion of Freakin' Peace. Please, please, PLEASE put Ibn Warraq, Ali Sina and Wafa Sultan on your speed dial.

3. Take on the greedy university industrial complex as the Evil Mind-Control Cult it is. The internet is superior because we can say what we believe and search for the truth practically unfettered. At least for now, and at least in this country. Your advertisers might not be so eager for you all to do that.

4. My own experience with editors is that the whole lot of  'em tend to be for the most part sniveling, craven, spineless, weak-kneed, yella-bellied, limp wristed, dickless quaking plates of jello  ( Memo to the doofusses running the Lancaster On-Line Talk Back Forum...have you never heard of Comment Moderation? It's a nifty little device which will allow you to read the comments before posting them to your forumses. If a blogging half-wit like me can do it, you'd have thought the administrative wizards on your forumses could have done it too. Blockheads.)
Go ahead and read these opinion pages and behold the dullards of editordom. The only opinions that ever make it in from John Q. Public are the ones that are the most likely to bore readers to death. Please don't become like them. Not that you are now.

5. I'll be honest with you, Mr. Vanderleun. After seeing what gets Kelsey Grammer's panties in a bunch, if this is the kind of crap that vexes him, I don't have much hope. For him or Right Network. He'd better get pissed off at the things which piss off the rest of us:

Really. Celebrity magicians? Does anyone really get irate about it? I never thought about celebrity magicians until he planted that weed in my brain. What planet is he from where celebrity magicians are out of control to the extent of making Kelsey Grammer upset?

Government programs governing other government programs? No, Mr. Celebrity...IT'S GUB.MINT. PERIOD.

Sham-Wow,  huh... Let me get this straight...he hates CAPITALISM? What's wrong with him? I so hope that Sham-Wow advertises on Right Network. I want to see the Right Network Nightly News...sponsored by Sham-Wow. Yes, and I would buy many Shams-wow in support of Right Network.

6. Right wingers don't do comedy well at all. If I want funny, I have to read it on the intertubes. That's where right wing funny is devastatingly funny. Again, because they aren't edited by a bunch of girlie men and they say what they think...DAYAMN well.  You would be a prime example of right wing humor done right. So would Scott Ott, IMAO, Moonbattery, People's Cube, I Own the World and Iowahawk. I'm sure there are more, but probably not. Right wing humor is a rare and priceless object. I am hoarding it.

7. Look at the hilarious videos done by amateurs online where Islam and the Idiotic Left are skewered with the most delicious and derisive humor. Would Right Network have the guts to do anything so outrageous?
Or would your Comcastic Overlords disapprove? Tosh.O is funny. AND politically insensitive, racist, homophobic and horribly offensive. It is good to hate and laugh.

Well, then. Berated congratulations, and Do it Right.....for the children. Thank you for allowing me to vent my spleen.

Sincerely  yours. Mrs. Effingby


  1. All my expectations of Right Network have been surpassed. Gloriously exceeded! Well done all, especially, Gerard and Joy....but Mrs. Effingby is starting to sniffle at the loss of her AD. Sigh.


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