Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Dangers of Falling Asleep While Watching Television

My daughter Emily, was playing Skyrim, a video game of Vikings, of magic spells and dragons. The volume was  low enough not to bother me as I dozed. Behind my recliner, the fan was humming its beautiful white noise, and the breeze being sucked in was refreshing and cool enough to cause me to fall into a delicious nap. Which I promptly did. 

I began to dream a most realistic dream. In it. Emily had summoned all the dragons who lived beneath the seas, and they began to set the seas to boil, and all the creatures in the seas cooked, and when the dragons were done eating the whales and dolphins and the toasted sharks with jellyfish, they began to burn everything down.

I became very angry at Emily for letting the dragons out, but she, in my dream, was only three years old, and thought it was very great fun. The sounds of people being broiled alive didn’t seem to bother her at all. She just wanted to ‘pet the pretty horsies’.

And that is why you should never, ever, ever have anything but a fan blowing when you take a nap.

This has been your cautionary tale of the day.


  1. The same thing used to happen to me when I left the clock radio tuned to Art Bell overnight. I used to wake up worrying about running into the hybrid off-spring of alien/human alliances on my way to work. I'm still a little jumpy about it if you want the truth.

  2. I remember when I had just brought my preemie twin girls home from the hospital. I used to get all kinds of bizarre dreams about them. In one dream, my younger sister hinted that one of the twins actually looked more like her than me, and I woke up wondering if my husband had had an affair with her.


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